Biker.

Okay, so the first post is going to be about biking. NO NOT HOGS! I’m not speaking of that type of biking, though in my “youth” it was the best kind. I’m talking about the bicycle.Now there’s one important thing you need to know about me and well about Alex. We don’t know how to ride bikes. At all. I had a bicycle when I was little. It was pink and had streamers. I loved it. It left my garage and was given to my nieces with the training wheels still attached. I never took it out of the garage before that day. I’m sure the poor thing was shocked to know that there was a whole wide world outside my tiny little house.

I blame my parents for my lack of biking skills. I mainly blame them because I’m over two hours away from my mother and so she cannot defend herself. I know why I never learned to master the two wheel mechanism, it’s because though I’ve always been basically fearless I was afraid to fall down in our gravel driveway and hurt myself.

I now am jealous of the people who learned to ride bikes and can bike to the store and can bike around Europe and can bike wherever they feel like biking. DAMN IT I WANT TO BIKE TOO!!!!

Now, I know I could probably borrow a friend’s bike and know-how and sit in their backyard and have them teach me how to bike, but folks that’s not happening anytime soon. I’m twenty-three and that ship has sailed. I’d say if I was meant to learn that wonderful skill I would have learned it with everyone else by the age of seven and no later than ten.

I do, however, reserve the right to resent those who can ride and mentally hit them with my car, crushing the pretty wheels and spokes.

Now all around this post are images of bicycles that, if I did ever learn to ride I would own, or wish I owned. Aren’t they pretty?

New Concept…Maybe, baby.

So I haven’t been keeping up with the blog..well let’s be honest, at all really. I’ve been meaning to and I just think I’ve been too busy or more likely too lazy to just sit down read the news or what-have-you and type about it. I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it, but that stops today.

I’ve decided that I’ve veen lazy too long and that this lovely day is the perfect one to renew my blogyness. It starts today and I think I might start with a new concept. I like the old way I’ve done things, don’t get me wrong I just think I might need some added flavor. More me and less straight facts, maybe. I don’t know.

Any opinions?

I’m not sure anyone even reads this enough, or at all, so that their opinion would seem valid to me. Hmmm. Oh well. We’ll see what happens.

Werner Herzog Is Crazy and I Want To Be Him!

First I will address my absence, I’m sorry. I’ve been rather busy and well just lazy. That is all.

Now to Werner Herzog. I have to admit that I didn’t really know of Herzog until today. I have not (to my knowledge) seen any of his movies, nor do I think I have a desire to see them. I am not one of those film buffs that obsess  over directors and how great they are (unless we are talking Kevin Smith and Scorsese.) But I now love Werner Herzog.

He’s a bad ass! And not in the way some morons think that  flippin’ Quentin Tarantino is a “bad ass.” Herzog is a crazy, psycho bad ass. Now you’re probably asking yourself “why is this guy such a bad ass?” Well I will tell you. Herzog was shot during an interview and not flinching decided to go on with the interview saying, “It was not a significant bullet. I am not afraid”.

How cool is that? I mean really people. Not many people can or would do that. It’s amazing!

Not only is he a bad ass, but he’s a good Samaritan as well. In 2006 Joaquin Phoenix flipped his car, Shaken and confused, Phoenix heard a tapping on his window and a voice say, “Just relax”. Unable to see the man, Phoenix replied, “I’m fine. I am relaxed”. Then managed to see that the man was Werner Herzog, and Herzog replied, ‘No, you’re not’. After helping Phoenix out of the wreckage, Herzog phoned in an ambulance and vanished.

That just adds to the coolness! I mean it’s mysterious and generous. Normal people would be freaking out, not to mention that they probably would have stayed to make sure the ambulance  arrived and everything was okay, but not Herzog. So bad ass.

Okay, so he’s German and that might have something to do with his bad assness, but maybe not. All I know is that I now strive to be a little more like Werner Herzog.

Just a thought….

It’s about 5:45 in the A.M. here where I live and I haven’t been able to sleep again tonight. I know that this blog has become a soap box for all the weird/interesting news articles that I find online, but today at 5:45ish in the morning I’m going to depart from that, for just this one post.

I hear people use the word regret, and while reading a friend of a friend’s post about God and such I started to think…why do people regret things. Now let me say here that I don’t really like to talk about religion. I mean I can if you really want me to, but I’d rather not.

The thing is, I’m a preacher’s kid. I’m very proud of the fact that my father, while he was still alive, was a preacher. I, however, never really was too religious. That is to say that I know I believe in certain things, I just don’t think I believe in everything organized religions dole out, but I digress.

I’ve taken the bumpy road in life. I’ve had my share of falls and received my fair share of cuts and scrapes in life and I’m sure there are a ton more to come. I probably have some amazing “scars” from all the stuff that I’ve done, but I can safely say that I’m proud of what I’ve done and where I’ve been and today at 5:45 am I wouldn’t change any thing that I’ve done.

So, the question is do you regret anything? And if you do, why?

How an iPod Broke a Man’s Jaw

Okay, so I guess the iPod didn’t really break his jaw, the lightning did, but it was the iPod’s fault   for starting the fight. The Canadian jogger’s eardrums were ruptured and he also sustained burns on his chest and neck.

You could dismiss this as an isolated event, but apparently it happens more often than you would think and not just with iPods, but with all portable electronic devices. You have to think though, if you are going to use something that usually has a warning stating that they should not be used during storms, you risk getting…well struck by lightning.

So, basically, I’m going to try not to use any electronic devices if rain is in the forecast.

Story

Stupid People or: How I Apologize for the Whole World

Apparently stupidity knows no bounds. In the backwoods in “Nowheresville,” Alabama people still don’t know that you can’t get HIV from swimming in the same pool with someone who is infected. I’m not sure that they got the memo, but you can’t catch it from a toilet seat either.

Wales West RV Park (yeah that’s right RV Park) told Silvia and Dick Glover that their 2-year-old foster son, Caleb, was not allowed to swim in the pool or use the shower after finding out that Caleb was HIV positive.

The RV Parks response: “We weren’t sure if somebody could get the virus if the child upchucked on them or from blood or what,” said Ken Zadnichek, the park’s owner. “We didn’t know what the risk was. That’s why we asked for something from their doctor or the county health department.”

I have no words. I can’t even being to express how horrible I think this is. Silvia and Dick…or anyone who has HIV, AIDS, or knows anyone who is infected…I’m sorry for all the stupid people in the world.

The Whole Story 

Diamonds are Forever

It is true that diamonds are forever, and most of us know the song by Kanye West about blood diamonds, but a company called LifeGem gives a whole new spin on the term “blood diamonds.” They will make a lovely diamond, in a variety of colors, out of your loved one’s cremated remains or basically almost any part of a person’s body.

Now, when I saw/read this I was a little..make that a lot disturbed. Who would do this to someone they loved? Would your Aunt Lolly really want to be made into a nice pair of earrings for you to wear with that great new dress you bought for her memorial service? Probably not.

Or would you like to receive a nice diamond ring from your husband on your anniversary, love it and then learn that it’s actually made from his hair. What if he’s bald, and just has a lot of back hair? I’m sure these people don’t ask where the hair comes from….I mean maybe they do, but do you really care.

Maybe I’m thinking about this all wrong, maybe this is a great thing for a lot of people who have lost loved ones “too soon.” But in my humble opinion, I find it creepy, very very creepy.

Clicky, Clicky 

Thou Shall Not…

Most people know the 10 Commandments, those little rules handed down to Moses by God telling people what they should and shouldn’t do. Well the Vatican seems to have run out of things to admonish and people to pray for this week so they decided to make some commandments of their own. These are not just any commandments though, these are the 10 Commandments of Cars, which are listed in the “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road.”

Some of the commandments include, “Thou shall not drive under the influence of alcohol, thou shall respect speed limits, and thou shall not consider a car an object of personal glorification or use it as a place of sin.”

Now, I understand that some people may use their cars to overcompensate for something, and that people may have a tendency to have road rage.  I also know that may a teenager (and sadly some adults) use their cars in “sinful” ways, but do we really need a set of 10 commandments for our cars?

 Reuters

Absinthe Anyone?

Yes, you can now legally buy absinthe in the United States for the first time since 1912. The U.S. Alcohol-Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau has okayed people to chase the green faerie all you want.For those of you not in the know, absinthe is a spirit the main ingredients of which are grand wormwood, green anise, and florence fennel. It’s a very strong spirit with the proof hitting about 124. There are multiple ways to drink absinthe, but it’s usually diluted with something, typically ice-cold water poured over a sugar cube.

If you would like to thank anyone for the legalizing of absinthe, thank the friendly people at Lucid. They convinced the U.S Alcohol-Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau that absinthe wasn’t any more harmful than any other alcohol.

Lucid hit stores this past week. A 750-milliliter bottle will run you about $59.95. Lucid is one of the highest quality absinthes on the market, well worth the buy. I’m very intrigued to see whether absinthe becomes as popular as it once was. I know that a few of my friends will be very excited.

Check Check Check it out.

Major in White Castle?

Okay not really, but Kumar will soon be a professor. The University of Pennsylvania is getting the slider seeker himself to guest teach. Kumar, or Kalpen Modi which is his real name, will be teaching two classes in Asian Studies and Film.

“Images of Asian Americans in the Media” and “Contemporary American Teen Films,” will be taught by Prof. Modi, who has also starred in “Namesake.” Thought the thought might scare your parents, who are probably spending money on your “little hobby” that they fear you’ll never make money doing and keep still have the video store job when you’re 40, I think taking one of these classes could be very interesting. Not only for the obvious reasons, but that you can actually learn from someone who’s been there and done what you aspire to do.

I wish I went to Penn (well and studied something cool like film.) I wonder if they’d let a girl who goes to college in Indiana audit the classes? Probably not. I guess I just have to settle for seeing him in the movies.

Blah blah blah…link